Do men REALLY have friends? REALLY?

The Dana & Parks Podcast
Tuesday, October 10th

FASCINATING article about the nexus of the male mass shooter.   Author claims that men in America are lonely.

00:45:04

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

I guess less but now and here and your listening to date in parts podcasts on KM BZ. Keating scattered showers in the forecast here in Kansas City for the rest of today drying out tonight. Very chilly out there really not good about our temperatures are gonna hold near fifty an answer to faults in the low forties tonight. Becoming partly cloudy is our Wednesday wears on highland sixties and clear an upper forties Wednesday night. Jabbing at the high to the mid seventies I Thursday with honey assign and low eighties quickly returning on Friday. Mostly sunny a staff meteorologist Jennifer narrow more KE NBC weather. Right. Now it's 49 downtown 47 it's big airport and 48 at your severe weather station. I'm will starent stay connected with the news in 981 KM BZ and KM BZ. Dot com. Seeing you and me but I just felt for you you need an IQ test. Fall. Texted him the 72881. Well. Yeah and a great minutes 72881. This just broke. Man sub. Is now offering to host an IQ tests showed up between Donald Trump Rex Steelers. Greater we end. Up being terrorists. With. Seventh grade. Grade are weak in. I'm joking when I say it would challenge the president of the United States Tuesday. An IQ test. Is he back then scanned. Student who lore. Guess what I did last night. For a desk. 420. Hours. And flip it around the TV I've all things that might Q. That I be watching including the rest of the Vietnam were special on PBS. And I'm flip around on showtime there's a documentary. About. This. Stupid. The document that was Houston's. Nobody. Stop. It's called. Run it do not block. The movie's called run you know it is called cannot beat me. Ed and from the wrong side of the tracks and the producers decided were going to make her into a why it's. Pop star icon. She can't be too RT she can't be too black and we want silver. Across the board clean black white America. And so they aim at her like we've heard they did with. Marilyn Monroe into something she wasn't it details the drug use and Mears Bobby Brown dance and up there rack. It details the birth of her child. Her body guard her actual body guard talks about. He says I knew that child was dead before she was eight years old he said she was never ever ever going to make it out of that toxic environment. It goes over the drug used crack is whack I wouldn't stop. Chris locks and embarrassed to say you've wasted two hours your life watching something isn't sure. So what's. Spent more. Than two hours to document and that's what is. Not. That damn thing so I may or may not have had the same currency issue of melt I watched that same document. It's actually a no pun intended pretty addicting it's. But did just like yes and really stopped one of those is like oh I can see how hurt towards Brenner. Are you would think you'd see just a stage like the known men are in the whole background the cameras are nonstop ball and it's got to. She just Iraq yes and and the drug use destroyed. Her vocal chords toward the end she could saying. And so they're replacing her with other acts at the last minute she'd just. She destroy your seed. Bipolar relationship with her body there's a scene where there in a food court. And she's really happiness is breaks down crying I was gonna say that I thought that. That whole thing really started with. Once Bobby Brown came via diction and she and he goes why are you crying as she goes I can't do this anymore here and act like you got an arm here for you. Thank you just one of those. Guys that would probably bring you down to bring you up and bring you right back. Right pat anorexia and was no way they've written it the way. Believe me and a feeling. That it's because of drugs. No. Yeah grand slams already. But there have been times when I know I was going who learn a lot more to us. My eating habits off quickly dying crack rehab fails. First of all let's give went straight. Crack is cheap. I mean to lift needs and it's escaped back straight okay. Her vocal push and locals are shy you need to crack. Like that do that. Crack is whack. Travesty this star of our senate I don't worse than her aunt's voice I tell you this I. Actually. Felt. Sorry for her towards the end she is a rat. Her voice is gone on. You clearly she's battling these inner demons and tell me check it out it I thought it was very very well done. There is a scene where she comes out on stage she looks like a skeleton. Trapped she looks like she's 96 pounds and in horrifying only thing in the drummer kind of describes it how she is really into your music and you the man. He's looking at her back but is it came to us he's human mayor disclosed how old her bum PS structure loaded is all bone. Anyway. I thought it was weird yet. And there are. You never. Get to the bottom of her relationship with her longtime best friend and assistant who is a lesbian. Their optimism in the net. Oh. That there was the other interesting part I had forgotten there were quote rumors. That she was in a relationship with a woman. And and did not note yes yes. It's yours that's on both sides of the plate if you two hour just to pull out and window. On this rainy week in Kansas City. That. We both. Okay. That is is Tristan that is a giant miss that noisy I mean what eight gift what eight gifts of a voice and after this. Doc community you don't I have to hear that song I don't know who she's talking about. The drugs Bobby Orr is somebody I will always love you. Bobby and heroin I think yeah yeah it's it's her watch but it's also adamant. Like I said you're never gonna get that you routers back when I do not necessarily sorry I watched. Crack is cheap. I need to lift needs and it's escaped back straight king but you do crack. We do that. Crack is whack. Rob Babcock here I hope you're enjoying this Dana and parks podcast or listen to keep it and this is a podcast. Please don't call me okay don't call the station I know he's given up the number I'm not there and I don't care. Like it is I came home last night and seal wants Casey had been in the driveway coding and protecting. My driveway and it looks at it and didn't even matter that rain let me tell you what have sealed once Casey come out get on their schedule now. To get your driveway permanently clean power washed and sealed. They operate yeah. 25 year warranty. Against deterioration. On your driveway think about cracked insane garage for. Patio pool deck any indoor or outdoor concrete surface steel ones has you covered. It's. Amazing they came out into the permanent polymer. Decorative coating on her garage for the Obama the flights and even with the leaves and the water and the rain in the debris in the garage. That floor looks brand new mentioned date when you call to get on the schedule you're gonna get 20% off. 8169423927. 8169423927. Or sealed once Casey dot com. Oh low low. This is Travis no I would not be Dana's assistant. You're listened to the NM parks. Oh. It. Time. You know. I just. And and and and yeah. That would. 79. October 27 that's Friday. We're going to be at the 54 street grew one bar in independence be an honor and the privilege. If you would spend your Friday afternoon. With us so my brother sends me an article couple days ago and says this is a really good read and I want you to talk about it. AN. Yeah this conversation is not necessarily about the shooting in Las Vegas it's more about the nexus. Of the nail. Brain how the male brain works and why men. Keep doing these things and there's an article in time magazine this week called it's always meant. And it goes over the mass shootings of the 134. That we've had since 1966. Only three have been women. Making mass shootings a 98%. Mail enterprise were 90% of murderers are men. And firearms are used in close to 70% of them. So that's a separate article called it's always men and Austin since in his article. And it's in a publication called B yourself. And it's written by a Charlie hone and it's called thoughts on Vegas and why men keep doing business. It's so interesting his number one reason. Is this. Men in the United States. Are chronically. Lonely. He says boys the United States like all human beings need to touch Karen warmth and empathy and close relationships but as we grow up. Most of us lose those essential components of our humanity what's worse we have no idea how to ask for those things or admit we need them. Because we're afraid it will make us look weak. As a man you might be thinking not me I get drinking buddies I've played poker with the guys I've got friends and then he asked this but two year. Do you have confidant Stew of male friends you can actually be vulnerable with that you could confide and be 100% yourself around. That you can without saying no homo without feeling tense or uncomfortable why you're doing it and for many men the answer is no. And the byproduct of that he says is isolation. And it goes on it and we're gonna post this you can look your work it opposes you can look at but the number one reason he says. Is that men are lonely you have no outlet to share your feelings. I kind of tend to agree Scott you know I think men have. Surface. Relationships. Superficial sounds mean so I'm not gonna say superficial. But I don't show I don't condone reactors surface. Hi Dylan great to watch the game Sunday you have. As the wide fine. Or is what will sit down over a glass of wine and rehash every. Feeling. I have had all week. The good the bad and the ugly. Are you feeling. Your thoughts on this sectors well so. I just don't think men do that I mean think about my husband and he's got this great coffee group in. He's got a golf group of buddies but really surrounded hash out how they're feeling. Tell due. Game that's what they talked about. They talked about shooting in banks. They talk out things on the surface. But never down here down deep in here and we don't me. Okay and why you keep shooting people she. It's funny you brought the sub Dana because I've noticed this lately or I guess Mel has technically notes the lately and I don't pay attention to it. You know she gets off work and should explain me how our weather's a good or bad day so go through right from mourning today and and I'm so they're like. Yeah I work is good Dana says something crazy and got yellow better. And this was in Singh's story. Well. Well what else happened you're there from. Nine to fool around 430 so now group. Systematically and 1130 right out and sit there like I'll award to Stevie you'll brief avoid them. But I wonder if if I may jump in for second here. And your bureau right in this regard Dana. Men don't so like I consider Travis and I know I'm Travis for several years now. Travis I don't ever call I mean you and I have talked a lot we've talked about things. But I don't ever remember seeing don't Travis and going. I'm just to test for him. Just I don't where to turn. And it's not like I'm gonna feel weak about it I just gotten with all respect Travis take this as no and so. I don't need that X and it's I don't want his advice. And I don't feel like. I need to she error. My deepest darkest secrets with all sure that with wit but that's about it. EG Brinker during the one of your ball as well friends I burgers and we were kittens. I think when it comes to your relationship with someone like in my. A lot of guys have a guide it we go to concerts together. We go and back in the day we used for beer together. It a football game together I saw last Friday night at the mill Valley High School or stock feel lock. And I think that of that we don't want advice we'd like to do is learn on him and if we're down here yes it. Here's what happened in the stands at mill Valley High School last. Friday night when Nobel it was being destroyed by addition me. Area Britain and yet we're meant to Nebraska tomorrow gonna go watch. Nebraska Wisconsin game. Let me turn them perhaps it. Soon the house. Concern us. Right it's because you suck at actionable true. Personal relationships. I'm not you know I know there's a generalized. And I just don't think you guys. Keeps people well and we like that that. Women are just annoying in general for the failure now that this guy. We wanna hear. They're both so tell me I need to share it poll won't we ask how your day went we asked. Is that good or bad. I don't need to just the facts ma'am yes just the back cut to just give me the lead right out of the game I don't need a hole it started out bad but it got really you know in the in this one Cayman my own. We just don't care. Isn't this is liberals fruit for writer who was this written by a woman know this was this was written by him gay. Just asking questions. Charlie being Charlie he he sounds the the. Chris I think he riots. Is that not only are meant chronically lonely with surface types of relationships. But that you were deprived of play opportunities. Went. Okay homo sapiens played more than any other species. It's impossible to prevent humans from playing. We play after report. And I don't always stressed humans tend to play their entire lives it's maybe God's greatest gift to mankind he says are thrown a football or some. Omar there is a strong correlation with played deprivation and mental illness when you deprived mammals of play it leads to chronic depression. And I'm. Premium play pro baseball on the. Taggart kicked the hell can we saw him play must be had in order to thrive bullies need. To wrestle around with their debts. They need to rough house and parents and teachers need to play at their kits did it. Do it I think human Travis wrestle. I think I'm 46 years. We're grant me I just stop you for being the next. It's not just your depressed and sad and you don't have any meaningful late and I'm not that I goggles they India as we do this weekend. And rust on the baseball. That's a building let's start you're about wrestle and talk about feelings. I've myself back. I'm going. That is not. What he's talking about I play a lot when Carey sings happy birthday. Whatever the case these factors about massacres are treated they cared deeply loudly. They experienced on going play deprivation. And they are deeply ashamed they've experienced ridiculed rejection. Or humiliate that part I bet is to. I bet that artist we need to pay more attention to the emotional health of our boys government I guarantee go tonight and ask your son's. How. You feel. About your day today what not what you do today but how did you feel crappy day drafts. How have you felt. About your days are. A gloomy news. And outside but I am happy to will regain carpet. I'm fine. I mean. It's whatever happens however how. Yeah and that's exactly what your kid is gonna say to whatever you ask him how he feels about his day is to me like. In. Wherever. Newsroom and you motionless will spare who's got a bigger brain. More next. You know I'll stay right here for Volkswagen of Lee's summit I have been driving all over town in my new VW end. Tell you what my son drives a VW I had never been in the real. Other VW until I went to the number one VW dealer in Kansas City. Volkswagen of Lee's summit at a drive all over that thing and I love it and if you're looking for a fund big roomy high tech new ride. Asked them for Dana's car check out the atlas the technology is incredible it's as close to a self driving cars you can get you on the highway it's the craziest thing. It will maintain your lane for you. It automatically paces with the car in front of you. And it is safe link up your Smartphone to that car watched the apples to everything for this atlas is so amazing. That the last two station employees who took this thing protester I've bought it out right for themselves that's to all of us have bought that car out right. Go check out Volkswagen Lee's summit. They've got a gorgeous fun dealership ask Christina straight a car I'm trying to check it does not sporting T want any use card it all makes and models. Right now save up to 101000 dollars MS RP on remaining twenty seventeens yep you heard me right. Up to 101000 dollars off every 2017. Bull flag of Lee's summit to sop or seven in Albert wrote it is sort of drive tell you wanna see Dana's car. Listening to the date and parks podcast. 1030 suing Kansas City from the KM BZ newsroom I'm will starent president trump says he never undercut his secretary of state Rex Tillerson. The president told reporters during an Oval Office meeting with Henry Kissinger today quote he didn't undercut any money. Trumbull also says he still has confidence in Tillerson earlier this month the president tweeted the Tillerson was quote wasting his time trying to negotiate with North Korea. In an interview with Forbes magazine published today president trump challenge Tillerson to an IQ test. Republican Missouri attorney general Josh holly makes it official he is running for the US senate against incumbent Democrat Claire McCaskill next year. Holy is he 37 year old Ian just his first year elected office. He's out with a video announcing his candidacy. McCaskill is in her second term in the US senate but Missouri voters have increasingly favored Republicans in recent elections. Traffic and weather together next KUMBC news timed to 33. Make your reservations now for Jasper and man has Tuscan bean soup sounds pro because on a rainy day is all menu. Is up and Allen ask for that Tuscan bean soup I actually had AM listener. Text me last week and he said we've never been to Jasper is we're going now what do you suggest I simply got to start out the Tuscan bean soup. I believe it's his mother's original recipe and on a rainy day like today I cannot imagine anything better on that menu. Make your reservations now they've got those little rooms on the side seat between now ten and fifty people a holiday lunch and come on up. Some kind of indices and banquet coming up he's got an office party coming up. Call now on reserve one of those terms shall be so glad you did let Jasper cut for you. 8169416600. As the number 8169416600. Or Jasper Casey dot com. KM BZ traffic and weathered together at 235 years Jay Edwards. We have a frontal system that continues to push through your region are gonna start to ease up on some of the wet weather chances for the rest of today still a 5050 shot at some showers here or there may be your rumble of thunder. And temperatures pretty much holding near fifty for the Heinz. Cloudy as the night goes on a low near forty breaks in the clouds starting mid on and for tomorrow we're gonna sneaker highs back up to the low sixties. And warmer still by Thursday cloudy sun high 75 the low eighties I Friday. I'm staff meteorologist Jennifer narrow more Katie and easy whether. I'm will stare stay connected with news 981 KM BZ and KM BZ. Com. We're okay. Good you know I think this on described widely in the one that held them there and buildings because the girl is the party all the time we're kind color fill and it's trying to talk to you Tom. When you wanna do is go out Hanson says the article is up now on our FaceBook page and wine bomb runs and hear any news articles and spot where he's aloof. He's now I think he is. Really Smart. And if you look at what this article says about why. Men don't feel like they have an outlet. It's. Too. Share which makes them globally which makes them depressed which makes them angry and talk to simply not true. What I think it is thank you Dana and just say lots of fun. Are high and be at odds with lot many facets of what I am thank you I commend China. Like you agree it is you that matter lonely. I think that men. Do get lonely and isolated as time goes on now not every single one year different. Depending on who it is but many men do get isolated and lonely. Over the decades because many times were so focused. Line as I said in the break with the mrs. Schwartz chair doing all the things with a wide to all things with the family and then. Decades pass and then all of a sudden here you are. You've been sitting in the in the in the men's couch at. Clothing store whole person and now here yours you don't count your own confidence. You know what do you eight good at deep meaningful friendship with any man do. I don't think that you do I think you'd think that you do. Describe deep and meaningful brighter and I have been friends for thirty years if she's in Sunday that's not deep and meaningful. So that's what happened and yes. That is not deep and mean what am I supposed to say to bring that would make that relationship deep and meaningful Howard Hughes feeling today why. LC and and that that's where I would disagree with the Dana because we handle things differently we just. You don't need to talk about where did well. We don't have to talk about everything but if were in that same orbit if were next to each other and we're doing something like working on the car. That that that closeness. That can be of friendship. We're just hanging a young women and I've never read winners from r.s or American women and I think what women somewhat. My parents I. Out of it that bad but sure where we differ I could sit down with one of eight or ten women I can rattle off the top might have right now right. And spill deep deep arrests most intimate look at how we are setup to be. Biologically. Women are the gatherers the hearts builders the community builders. That's how you quit citi's we'll tell us how well that killed wielded beasts. You know I'm bringing it back to the law and hill will to beast anymore go to Price Chopper premiums that's where our society comes in conflict or violence to primal nature yeah were coming into conflict with the way our society is. And the way our biology is a new amendment do get isolated because. They think they're supposed to be the macho bright man here let me join Dwyane what role played this first okay laid out and bring. Putting and Brit hey it's parks. What's up. You to catch a game on a Sunday night pretty good game for the chiefs. Yeah Scott they did really well. You know great game five and other undefeated hang might. You know I've known each other for like I don't know thirty years. How are you feeling inside. That's exactly what would happen yes just the thought of. That conversation make you uncomfortable doesn't even cross my mind. This is the problem. This is the problem there's nothing wrong with talking about your feelings. Others not at this time and place that it there's nothing inherently wrong with not talking about your field Ernesto. I disagree and is author says this is what's leading to the loneliness and the isolation and the anger and the raids. And then the shooting that only comes up whenever you. Feel the need to actually talk about it and and don't pay might humor that's how we went to Nebraska and we ended up that fight club it Asian rose streets. So awesome only got so bad night and Mike. How are you feeling inside. You're talking about the the fight club. That right there was the sharing. That is not she Angel it is on the males politics it is that's how we that's in that bonding that pace how we bought in my. Time tomorrow won't walk out of Cody park in my more hope so awesome in my. These few moments. That's how we work. I can call Allison right now and say I feel like crying just crying girl part like oh my god yes let it out girl what is wrong tell me out. Your feelings. It's here are some things guy says it is how confident. He has that meaningful relation but it's. Yeah it's not a yes. It's we have shared experiences. Either I bet that we talk. Yeah. That we talked about we we we have lived life together. And we've had a lot of great memories and good times. But the last thing I'm gonna do is call Brad wrapped right now. Here. No please don't. Use expose speak publicly talking about your feelings this this must be right and it's got has that calm and meaningful sharing the point of the article is that a lot of men dole have that. No matter how weep on each other which is different from the penis. And oh weep on differently. It. Tell him ask him how he's feeling I'm going to. Inquiry. And we did this. Is not available on account. Record and he's not stupid in history according. Ayers and and and liked. By the parks. I know we've. Kind of review this roller coaster of life together for the last thirty years and and limit be honest with men wouldn't wanna have. Anybody else in my car. As my bro friend. Just wanted to ask how your feet. You feel on the inside. Concealment talk to me about. Anything you want to. To hold us your thoughts. Feelings. Here concerns. But the port in the article is is is there the premise of the article I think it's interesting because if you don't have the iconic confidant. But you can share with the way that we men share with the each other it's a different kind of sharing all tourists and it's very different but the thing is I think there are a lot of men out there that do not have that kind of content. And more of the time according gotten that. Answer machine a proud of let that same voice known right out that's I space in. To me and I think yeah. Or do program of the year and not talk about at all. Do let's go grab a beer and not talked about her feelings from predator I just got a text. You have a vagina. Swear to god that is not talking about that's how things on my other. Gregor literally just it goes I'm listening and you have a vagina. That's our men talked to each other. It's apples. It's foreign. I've walked through life with this cap. And I am very satisfied with our relationship. I don't need to go. First if I called my commitment. Let me tell you about like today. Like me who break down non nuances. Star power. To. Him. Now. Might go would you shut it. It's. And yet the article. Every man should greatest and then we should all talk about her feeling. Look beyond the headlines when you go to FaceBook looked yeah headline click on it read the story. And then share with two would your comments are now if you agree with the points made by the men to wash your panics. It fall is here look around the yard. And you'll see tonight for sure already you're seeing the leaves falling in your yard look around elsewhere. Where are where they also falling on your roof at Indy your gutters you really wanna spend this fall your weekends. Away from the family up on the latter day gunbattle Mosley written. And you don't have to not if you call K guard today and let them take care what can guarantee. You get rid of that latter Kate are does amount underneath your roof shingles there custom made and K guard handles 40% more war. The leading competition call right now. Can get 80% off insulation. And of course 0% interest no payments for eighteen months pitcher Li free gutter system today from us and we you know you can trust. 9134898965913489. 8965. Online K guard heartland. Dot com. I would hear. I. I. I. On a Tuesday throwback to east. I've 767798. You guys are all over the board on this one. Really clicked from the text line I may 35 year old single man I have few real friends. No outlets I am lonely isolated. Have addiction problems and I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I can honestly understand some of the anger because sometimes it seems like people deserve what happens to them but I know that that is the depression talking and yes it is a problem I am working on. Keep fighting Fineman on that someone else wants no explain why women get mad at each other and hold a grudge for years. Men get mad at each other fight for five minutes and it's die it's a great point why society always trying to make men act more like women. That's a point out men are definitely buy guns kind of people usually out always. Come. But men will have a now I got padded out rob before I padded out with my brother of I don't know burner. Five minutes that were back tomorrow. With women. And and not to try to some misogynist again everybody's is different. Women tend to hold not exclusively women tend to hold yeah capsule entered. It's gonna Kelsey in Belton hello Kelsey. You. Yeah I'm here. I'm I do plan to let. A few words here and maybe better. You know they were born perfect in the beginning and then the Bible now when. EBay apple I'm pretty sure that occur that all men are on. There out of humanity. They're not just really a lot of emotions and it. They have to be eighteen and they have to be. The one that provide. Hold up all of there their idol and the world and an expectation that it now and then. But you know now. It is expecting. I don't think we appreciate men much appreciated. You know we don't really given the chance. It tells. You at home where your mother stayed at home and your father worked. No my mom you. Chain warned them very hard worker and work. What do apparently there and she's actually just turned fifty yesterday and and my dad you'd sit. Where were you that. We mean wherever he's. Do you leave well. And then your personality even. I don't know my mom again. Never on that when. Okay I I take exception says the men is the ATM's I I'd absolutely take exception to that. I don't know she's adult friend of mine who's an amnesty ATM did you get the impression she didn't order that was and yeah and a car. Poll Tonya knocks global. I. Yeah. I'll have a barrier. The one. So what are our RB Brian collar city and here I. I'll call Rick I don't know. As I. Don't shorter. They're building when it. These are the most part. We've got called bank there. My ballot. Not any injuries is it that it. We got our our work our car and how about what is it. And you. Boulder quickly extradited to the news. You you opened up to your male friends and say. Here here's what happened in my life and. I don't want to post it I don't know I. Yeah we ever. Let the marketplace. Bill that candidate at this crime. How many are there. And to drink a beer and dry ice cry we don't have drinking beer and cry of characters don't. On Facebook writes I am 54. Years old. And have only superficial. Friends. It's just not manly where I come from to share feelings with another man that way. I'm still trying to get out of this way of thinking even my therapist is a woman for this very reason. A Scott larger conversation be like with your friend if you knew he was going through divorce or you're just an idea of cancer. Am let it very clear in an orderly from the news and I'll be quick to boost up Mike and I have had very. Fair. Serious. Drag him out kind of conversations. They are very far and few between when I was going through my divorce. He was the one that took me after Beers and we sat in the bar for four hours and I was like. I'm just a failure of americans' phone borrowed the music journalism. What is your crying sound like you're in. I'm americans' phone pardon kids. America remembers serves just your loser. So that's how it works. Tonight's reenactment clicks onto the news or bolster happening now on KM BZ mice. I mean BC's Jeannie Norman with how he says the administration will help coming up. If you are like me and you know next to nothing or less than next to nothing. About cars I would invite you to go check out Christian Brothers automotive. You know if you ever stressed out about where to go for car repair if you are worried you're gonna be ripped off. Go to Christian Brothers automotive when my. Service engine light came on read the frazzled my car about a month ago. I went into Christian Brothers Otto and they walked me through the entire process. 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